dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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