This is not my ceiling
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Randomize
