He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Randomize
