I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Randomize
