i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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