who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
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