She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
