Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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