btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Randomize
