Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
