First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I got her a Nickelback box set.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
