I'm really into asian looking animals
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
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