so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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