i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
