CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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