Kiss
Puke
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Randomize
