lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Randomize
