That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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