Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
