I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
