omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Randomize