hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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