she was so not down for the gang bang
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
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