i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Randomize
