U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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