Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
