we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
