Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
ttyl tear gas
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
