God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
