she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Randomize
