Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
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