Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Randomize
