I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
