Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
Randomize
