just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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