Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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