Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Randomize
