People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
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