what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Randomize
