How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
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