And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Randomize
