Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
