I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Randomize
