Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
