she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Randomize
