Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
