Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Randomize
