talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
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