No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
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