I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
North Korea, Best Korea!
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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